Thursday, September 29, 2011
July: I was taken to the ER due to an anxiety attack that made it quite difficult to breath. They hooked me up to oxygen, gave me Ativan, and gave me an EKG.
August: My left arm, face, and chest went numb. I was taken to the Instacare, but after hearing my symptoms they sent me to the ER (once again). They checked my heart, gave me a CT Scan, found nothing, and sent me home.
September: The numbness and pain were intensifying, but I had to work that night so I went to the Instacare for some pain killers and went to work. Two hours into work, a co-worker found me curled up on the bathroom floor and I was sent home. Within the last couple of weeks I've had 3 MRI's done, countless doctors visits, no answers, and too many days spent at home.
The Physical Medicine doctor hasn't found anything and in October, I go see a Neurologist for an EMG. I have been on 6 different medications within 2 weeks of each other. And I have to do something normal (though painful) everyday or else I find I go crazy! I have "Lizzified" my entire apartment by crafting the crap outta everything! Hopefully, they'll find something in my EMG on Monday because I would surely love to get back to work.
I'm learning how to be dependent on everyone (something I am not used to and quite honestly am having a hard time with it). My roommate is fantastic! She has helped me so much lately. Last night she was a pro, when I woke up to blinding pain and she was so good at keeping me calm and making me feel better...emotionally. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be learning through all of this, but I'm keeping my chin up (most days) and I'm doing my best to stay positive and focused. I certainly hope that whatever lesson He intends for me to learn, is learned very, very quickly. If not, my entire apartment might just become be-dazzeled very soon!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I listen, even when you speak no words, to everything you say.
You taught me how to work hard morning, noon and night.
And for things that I believed in, to stand up and to fight.
When I was sick you cared for me, when I was well you cheered!
And you were always there protecting me against those things I feared.
You taught me right from wrong, you showed me good from bad,
And you taught me how to find the happiness even when I'm sad.
You made me finish the things I started and do the things I hate,
Even now I hear those words "cooperate and graduate."
You taught me to kneel and pray when times were rough and hard,
and the things that brought me pain, you told me to discard.
You care about me now as you cared about me then,
and anytime I'll fall down, you'll pick me up again.
And when I'm angry, happy or poor, tired, joyful, or sad--
I know you'll always be there, how? Well, cause you're my dad!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Someone to love me
I promise I would be somebody
But I thought that I was not
When someone was there to love me
I pushed them out of thought
I wanted to be somebody
But I don’t know where to start
And I thought I’d love somebody
But all I did was break my heart
When love caught me off guard
I stumbled and lost my way
But love caught me back again
And started all my days
When the sky was dark and lonely
My heart did not share its track
But now I’m in love with someone
And they with love brought me back
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I miss the smell of your perfume and the wrinkles on your face
I miss the way you light a room when you walked into the place
I miss the times you let me try my clumsy hand at baking
Or the way that opportunities were yours then, for the taking
I miss your hair, your eyes, your clothes, I even miss your skin
I miss the way you hugged me tight and said that I could win
I miss the times I cried to you I miss the good times too
But most of all I miss your love it always will stay true
And even though I can’t feel you or see you laugh or smile
You’re always there to cheer me on no matter what the trial
So dear mom I hope you know I’ll always miss you, yet--
I know that through the good and bad I love you, don’t forget.
(Just been thinking about her a lot lately. She was the greatest woman I know.)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I feel just like an eagle scout earning merit badges of life
Some I get from doing good or some from enduring worldly strife
Our scout master is our loving God who helps us find the way
A life lesson here, a trial there so we’ll all be Eagle Scouts one day
I earn some from the widow by helping her to cross the street
I earn some from the neighbor, being friendly as we meet
Some are earned from broken hearts, a death can earn some more
But you’ll never earn near enough with your feet stoned to the floor
All these badges we earn from life come from Him so great and wise
All the hard times we’re going through are just opportunities in disguise
None are earned from giving up or quitting when it’s tough
But trying hard to do your best, to God it’s good enough