As I'm trying to open my store I'm focused on the planning, the designing, the research, and my sanity; but I also have to search for my soul mate as well? It seems that every friend I ever went to high school with is now on their way to the alter. So, after the last facebook invite to another friends wedding I felt desperate, and decided that since I don't usually meet straight men in my profession, it's time to try online dating.
Being a skeptic, I decided to go for a free dating site. My first night on, Joe* started chatting with me for about two hours. We continued to chat for two weeks. It was time to meet him. We went to Kiva Juice (which he insisted was better than Jamba Juice...um it's not) and sat outside for two hours talking. There were no awkward silences, no weirdness between us, no worries! This was starting out to be the best first date I ever went on! We took a drive through a canyon and that's when it went from the best first date to every other date I've been on. As we were winding through the dark canyon he dropped the ball...he's turned off by women more successful than him.
Now if this was the first time I heard this from a man, I probably wouldn't have been so upset. However, this wasn't the first time, nor the second. This was the third time I've been unwanted by a man because I am more successful than him! What a load of crap that is!!! So after countless hours bitching about my predicament to my girlfriends I decided that I'm much too special and much too wonderful to get upset. If these men don't want me...WHO CARES! If they don't realize what a good thing they could have going, it really is their loss.
Well, dear readers, I've learned a lot from this experience. I'm in such a great place in my life and if a man doesn't want to share that with me, then it's for the best. I've learned to be myself under every circumstance, to not apologize for who I am or who I'm going to become, and to realize that everything happens for a reason. Most of all, I learned to be okay with being single. One day I'll find Mr. Right, but I don't want to have to sift through the Right Now's to be happy. Happiness comes from within.
Be your own beautiful,
*Names have been changed to protect the...well...not so innocent.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Hello cyberspace. Seeing as that is probably the only person who will be joining me on my blog. This is my first time blogging, however; I've been journaling since I was 8. Of course each journal entry then consisted of "Dear Diary: Boys are gross and my sister is bugging me." Now in my 21 years of age, well, not much has changed!
I'm about to open my business soon. I'm a fashion designer for plus-size teenage girls. I have most of the world telling me what I can't do, but I have one wonderful sister (that was not mentioned in the journal) who supports me whole-heartedly.
My vision in life is to change the idea of beauty. The sort of beauty portrayed in the media is one size fits all (0-2). I'm here to shout to the high heavens that beauty is in everything! Freckles dancing on a cheek, virgin hair color, and curves from H to T (Head to Toe, courtesy of Tyra Banks).
I love my curvy looks. However; not many stores out there carry figure-flattering clothes for my hills and valleys. So at seventeen, after a traumatic shopping excursion, I decided to do something about it. I drew up a magnificent department store! Every design, dress, and even bra was designed for a curvy girl like me, to be able to have the shopping experience of a thin person. It was magnificent, wonderful, and after speaking to a majority of people, totally ridiculous and impossible. So many people kept telling me how average people can't open department stores and they certainly don't at my age.
So after a year in a standard university, I felt depressed. I kept trying to find myself, my calling, in class after class. I never found what I was good at. I took off a semester to think over my life, which I spent living with my oldest sister, Rachel. She took me under her wings and told me that anything in life was possible...you just have to have the courage to want it and go get it.
The next semester I dropped out of the University and started taking fashion classes at a Community College. Many told me I would fail. Many were even bold enough to persuade me to give up now before I waste my life away. Finally finding something I love and am good at, I told the nay-sayers in my life politely to "shove it".
Now I'm finished with my classes and months away from opening my beautiful store. It's not a department store now, but I'm working up to it. I couldn't have done any of this without my sister, God, and the years of heartache to mold me into a better person.
So readers, if there ever any, just remember that there's beauty in all of you just like there's beauty all around you! It's time to tell the media where they can stick their anorexic celebrities. It's time for normal women to stand up and say "I'm beautiful and it's time for you to see that." But remember, dear reader, you can't see beauty in others, if you can't see it in yourself.
Be your own beautiful.